Hello, My Name Is... Making Peace With Your Story
Last week, I was invited to speak at The Yorkshire Ladies Links lunch in Harrogate. The theme was inspired by a campaign that had touched me deeply when I heard it — one started by Chris Pointon and his late wife Kate, who was terminally ill with cancer.
Chris and Kate created the #hellomynameis campaign, initially using social media to encourage healthcare staff about the importance of introductions in healthcare. But as Chris beautifully explained, it wasn't just about common courtesy. It ran much deeper than that.
Introductions are about making a human connection between one human being who is suffering and vulnerable, and another human being who wishes to help. They begin therapeutic relationships and can instantly build trust in difficult circumstances.
Kate, who was both a doctor and a patient, understood this intimately. The campaign's core values — personalised communication, remembering that little things matter (even just a smile), keeping the patient at the heart, and seeing individuals as more than just an illness or a diagnosis — resonated with healthcare trusts including Leeds Hospital Trust, and eventually spread worldwide, being supported and back by governments and celebrities worldwide.
One of the most powerful messages from the hellomynameis charity is this: individuals are more than just an illness or a diagnosis.
When I read this, it makde me think about the fact that while not all of us have the rare diagnosis that Kate had, but we all have stories of hardship or pain.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Standing in front of that Yorkshire audience, I realized something profound: we can often define who we are by our stories—or the stories we tell ourselves. The words we use become spells we cast over our own lives, the create our narrative, how people perceive us and ultimately how we influence what happens next in our lives.
So I asked myself: What am I saying about myself? What am I saying about my future?
And then I did something that changed everything. I introduced myself—twice.
Hello, My Name Is Ali (Version One)
Hello, my name is Ali.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Clinical Depression, and disordered eating.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I have struggled with body dysmorphia for most of my life, hated looking in the mirror.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I still think of my Mum every day—10 years on after I lost her finally, after a decade of losing her daily to Alzheimer's.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I have lost 3 pregnancies, my first son born not breathing, and my second son told he was failing to thrive at 6 months old.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I have been brokenhearted by loss, infidelity, and betrayal.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I have been a beaten-down corporate employee. Beaten down by overworking, overgiving, and the frustrations of inequality of pay and judgement of the parenting juggle.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I am a recovering perfectionist with a very loud inner critic and an imposter with a sharp tongue.
These are just some of the ways I could introduce myself.
I paused. The room was silent. Because when we're vulnerable, when we're honest, when we share our pain—people feel it. They see themselves in it.
But here's what I realized: these stories, these hardships, these pain points—they don't define me.
Just as Kate and Chris reminded us that illness doesn't define us, I believe our stories, our hardships, our greatest fears that come true—they don't define us either.
We get to choose how we experience the stories we live in life.
Hello, My Name Is Ali (Version Two)
So I introduced myself again.
Hello, my name is Ali.
Recently told I'm a 50-year-old looking and living like she's still 30 & I was recently asked to be a model for a fashion brand I love on both their website and fashion show!
Hello, my name is Ali.
I am a mum to 2 gorgeous teenage, 6 foot, blond haired, blue eyed, handsome, sporty, funny boys (young men really) who fill me with pride every day.
Hello, my name is Ali.
And I have been lucky enough to marry my soulmate not just once, but twice.
Hello, my name is Ali.
I am the delighted daughter of a Dad who got married on the BBC One Show, arguably to the love of his life – who wasn’t my mum.
Hello, my name is Ali.
I am the co-founder of Unique Escapes - an award-winning luxury holiday homes in the heart of the city of Ripon and Nidderdale Area of Natural Beauty.
Hello, my name is Ali.
I am the founder of an international mentoring company in my name, with a podcast heading to number 1 in the UK (check out the Joy Broadcast here!)
Same person. Same life. Completely different story.
My Story Could Be a Sob Story. I Choose to Make It a Story about love – a veritable JOY Story!
In 2016, I lived through my awful year of so much loss, grief, and devastation—losing my career, my mum, my marriage, my identity, my network, my community, my home, my health, and my mind.
But my burnout and breakdown became my breakthrough.
When I chose to leave my corporate career in 2015, I re-wrote my definition of success. Rather than using the symbols of success—the next title, pay band on the ladder, a faster car, bigger house, more jewellery, I found myself writing down in my journal:
Success to me in this era of my life is:
• I love what I do and how I do it
• I love who I am with
• I love myself and can look in the mirror and be proud of who I am being
The result of aligning myself with love meant that my joy was amplified. And life became really good.
Making Peace With Your Past
That "Hello, my name is..." exercise wasn't just a speaking moment. It helped me make peace with my past painful experiences.
When I could see both versions of my story—when I could hold both the pain and the beauty—I realized I wasn't trapped by what had happened to me. I could choose which lens to look through.
This doesn't mean denying the hard parts. I lived them. They were real. The PTSD was real. The loss was real. The betrayal was real. The pain was so very real.
But they didn't have to be the ONLY truth about me.
How This Has Helped My Clients
Since that day, I've guided countless clients through their own "introduction" exercise. And every single time, it creates a shift.
One client realized she'd been introducing herself (mentally) as "the woman whose business failed" for three years. When she did the exercise, she discovered she could also introduce herself as "the woman who had the courage to try, learned what didn't work, and is wiser for it."
Another realized she'd been carrying "the divorced woman" as her identity. Through the exercise, she saw she could also be "the woman who chose herself, who rebuilt her life, who is now thriving."
The exercise gives us permission to hold complexity. To honour our pain AND claim it as our power ,as purpose.
We Can All Choose to Use Our Pain to Create Purpose
Ten years on from my breakdown, I know this about joy: it is a veritable chocolate box, a joy emporium with many forms.
• Joy as a TOOL: My joy list that helped me survive my darkest days with a daily DOSE of happy hormones*
• Joy as a HEALER: With love and joy, I healed my marriage, my body, my mind, my belief in business and career
• Joy as a GIFT: I gave the Daily DOSE* to others, compounding their joy
• Joy as a LIFESTYLE: In 2023, after my friend Juliet's diagnosis, we gave ourselves permission to ENJOY life, to put joy at the centre
• Joy as a STRATEGY: In 2024, joy became my brand, representing joy in life as all of these things
And in 2025, what I know is this: Joy is a power move. It isn't fluff, and it's not something to wait for. It isn’t the cherry on the top of the cake – it’s the brandy that pours through the whole Christmas cake!
Joy is something to align to, to consciously choose.
When you align with love, when you amplify your joy, you become a super attractor for success on your terms.
More joy = more opportunities in your profession, more invitations in your private life to do more of what you love. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy of loving what I do.
I used my pain to create my purpose.
And you can too.
Your Invitation
So here's my invitation to you: Try the "Hello, my name is..." exercise.
Write down all the ways you could introduce yourself through the lens of your pain, your struggles, your diagnoses, your losses, your failures.
Then write down all the ways you could introduce yourself through the lens of your joy, your wins, your love, your resilience, your growth.
Both are true. Both are you.
But only one will help you make peace with your past and step powerfully into your future.
Record this as a way to make peace with your past.
Because just like Kate and Chris taught us through #hellomynameis—we are more than our illnesses, more than our pain, more than our stories.
We are human beings, making human connections, choosing how we introduce ourselves to the world and to ourselves.
Hello, my name is Ali. And I am a Joy Coach.
Resources:
Find out more about my Daily DOSE* by listening to this episode of the JOY Broadcast or downloading here
Learn more about the #hellomynameis campaign at hellomynameis.org.uk
The campaign has been adopted by healthcare trusts including Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust and has spread internationally, reminding us all of the power of human connection.
Find out more about Yorkshire Ladies Links and their fabulous events here: Yorkshire Ladies Links
What would YOUR two introductions say? I'd love to hear your story. Drop me a message or share in the comments below.
.. this is my reminder to myself to be brilliant in the boardroom, the bedroom & in my body.
Love always
Ali xo
#remindertobebrilliant #thebrilliantyears #livebrilliantlyalive
Meeting Chris Pointon
A truly wonderful day of networking and hearing incredible stories from so many inspirational men and women who have faced some of the hardest, most brutal experiences… and as one speaker said… just #KFG. (Keep f*cking going).
“A great session yesterday and really needed! Feeling calmer today.”
