The Path You Walk: Why Your Values Matter More Than Your Boundaries
How knowing your values creates a life that doesn't need defending
You've been told to set boundaries.
To protect your time. Guard your energy. Say no more often.
And maybe you've tried. Maybe you've drawn lines in the sand, only to watch yourself step over them when someone needs you. When an opportunity presents itself. When saying yes feels easier than the discomfort of no.
Here's what I've learned through my own journey from rock bottom to building everything I have now: Boundaries can feel like limitations to those of us who are focussed on feeling free. But values? Values are the path you choose to walk.
And when you're walking your path, you don't need to defend it.
If Joy Is An Attitude, Then Your Attitude Is Built On Your Values
In 2016, I was at rock bottom. PTSD. Clinical depression. The kind of dark that makes you forget what light feels like.
My first step out of that darkness was chasing happiness - the feeling. I needed that. Happiness was the foundation that got me feeling again, moving again, alive again.
But once I could feel happy? That's when everything shifted.
Joy became the attitude I created and saw my life through.
And here's what I discovered: if joy is an attitude, then your attitude is based on your belief system and your behaviours.
• Your values inform your beliefs
• Your beliefs shape your behaviours
• Your behaviours create your attitude of joy
This is the architecture of a life you love.
The Three Questions That Changed Everything
When I work with C-Suite women - whether you're running a corporation, a 7-figure business, or serving as CEO of your own life and home - I see the same pattern:
You're brilliant at creating external success. You know how to build, grow, achieve.
But somewhere along the way, you stopped asking yourself three critical questions:
1. What values were being honoured when you felt most alive?
Think of a really meaningful, fulfilling time in your life. What was happening? What were you honouring in that moment?
2. What values were being violated when you felt most upset?
Recall a time when you were angry, disappointed, frustrated. What wasn't being honoured - either by you or someone else?
3. What are your needs on a soul level?
Not your basic human needs. Not what you should want. What does your soul actually need to feel full, fulfilled and satisfied on the contentment scale?
Why Most Women Can't Answer These Questions
Here's the uncomfortable truth: most of the C-Suite women I work with can't quickly articulate their core values.
They can tell me their company's values. Their family's values. What society expects them to value.
But their own?
Silence.
And without knowing your values, you're making decisions from other people's belief systems. You're behaving in ways that serve everyone but you. And then you wonder why your life - despite all the external success - doesn't feel fully yours.
This is what I call living in someone else's blueprint while wondering why your house doesn't feel like home.
Values Aren't Rules - They're Your Compass
This is where most values work goes wrong.
People treat values like rules. Like restrictions. Like one more thing to live up to.
But your values aren't about constraint - they're about clarity.
When you know your values, decision-making becomes effortless. Not because every choice is easy, but because you have a compass that always points toward what's true for you.
Let me give you an example from my own life:
One of my core values is Genuine - which encompasses truth, honesty, transparency, connection, and authenticity.
With this value clear, I don't need a boundary that says "I don't work with clients who aren't ready" or "I only share certain things publicly."
Instead, I have a path I walk: Am I being genuine here? Am I showing up authentically? Does this feel true to who I am?
The decisions make themselves.
When someone asks me to tone down my message or soften my truth, I don't have to agonize over the decision. It's simply not my path. Not because I'm rigid, but because Genuine is one of the guiding stars I've chosen to navigate by.
How To Discover Your Core Values (The Work That Changes Everything)
This is the work we do in one of my core trainings inside my Love Club Library: "I Know Me, I Love Me" Life Lab, and it's the foundation of everything that comes after.
Here's the process:
Step One: Mine Your Emotional Landscape
Look at your life through two lenses:
When you were most fulfilled: What values were you honouring?
When you were most upset: What values were being violated?
Your emotions are data. They're showing you what matters most to your soul.
Step Two: Identify Your Soul-Level Needs
Beyond food, shelter, safety - what does your soul need?
For some women, it's beauty and aesthetics in their environment.
For others, it's intellectual stimulation and growth.
For others still, it's connection, community, contribution.
There's no right answer. There's only your answer.
Step Three: Group And Distil
Take everything you've discovered and look for common themes.
Maybe you notice that truth, honesty, transparency, connection, and authenticity all point to the same core value: Genuine.
Or perhaps giving, receiving, sharing, openness all cluster around: Generosity.
When I did this work for myself, I discovered six core values that became my compass:
1. Genuine (truth, honesty, transparency, connection, authenticity)
2. Generosity (giving, receiving, sharing, open, transparent)
3. Gratitude (abundance, gratefulness, peace, presence)
4. Grit (hard work, tenacity, purpose, mission, passion)
5. Growth (leadership, expansion, courage, curiosity, releasing, shedding, growing)
6. Grace (softness, strength, dignity, ease, forgiveness, kindness)
Your goal is to identify 5-6 core values that capture what matters most to you - not what should matter, but what actually does.
Step Four: Give Them Context
Here's what most people miss: values need context.
It's not enough to say "I value family."
You need to define what that means for you:
• "Family means being fully present when I'm with them, not just physically there"
• "Family means choosing quality time over quantity"
• "Family means I show up as my full self, not a performing version of me"
Step Five: Add Relaxed Conditions
This is what transforms values from pressure into peace.
Your values aren't rigid rules. They're a path you choose to walk, and sometimes you'll step off it. Sometimes you'll stumble. Sometimes you'll take a detour.
The goal isn't perfection. The goal is having a path to return to.
So for each value, ask yourself: What would it look like if I honoured this 80% of the time? What grace can I give myself in the 20%?
From Values To Beliefs To Behaviours To Joy
Once you know your values, everything else begins to shift.
Your beliefs start to align:
• "I am enough as I am" (because I value Genuine over performance)
• "Giving and receiving are equally important" (because I value Generosity in both directions)
• "I have everything I need right now" (because I value Gratitude over scarcity)
• "Hard work with purpose is different from busy work" (because I value Grit rooted in mission)
• "Shedding is as important as growing" (because I value Growth in all its forms)
• "I can be both soft and strong" (because I value Grace that holds both)
Having defined this, my behaviours naturally follow:
• I was able to stop saying yes to things that violate your values
• I was able to start creating space for what honours them
• I now make decisions faster because my compass is clear
By doing the same exercise, you fill find that your attitude transforms:
• Joy stops being something you chase after you've ticked all the boxes
• Joy becomes how you see and move through your life
• Joy becomes rebellion against every voice that told you to be smaller
This Is The Joy Rebellion
Most people are waiting for permission to live according to their values.
Permission from their boss. Their partner. Their parents. Society.
But here's what I know: Joy is a rebellious act when you've been taught to dim yourself.
When you've been told to be practical instead of passionate.
When you've been rewarded for pleasing everyone except yourself.
When you've been promoted for your productivity but never asked about your peace.
Claiming your values and letting them guide your life? That's not selfish - it's sacred.
That's you saying: I see myself. I know myself. I honour myself.
That's The Joy Rebellion.
The Work For You To Do Now
As you approach 2026, I'm inviting you to do something different than the typical goal-setting, resolution-making, vision-board-creating work.
Instead, I want you to do this:
First: Review your beliefs and behaviours from 2025
Take an honest look - not a judgmental one, an honest one.
Which beliefs have been serving you? Which have been holding you back?
Which behaviours have moved you forward? Which have kept you stuck?
Second: Get clear on what you want to create in 2026
Not achieve - create.
What do you want to feel? What do you want to embody? What kind of life do you want to wake up to?
Third: Identify your core values using the process above
This is the work that changes everything.
Fourth: Match your beliefs and behaviours to your values
Now look at those beliefs and behaviours you wrote down.
Which ones need to shift? Which ones need reframing?
How can you change your perception?
Because joy is a perception of your life. It's not waiting out there for you to find it. It's how you choose to see what's already here.
The Path You Choose To Walk
This is what I've learned from going from rock bottom to building a business, a marriage, a home, a life I genuinely love:
You don't need more boundaries to protect you from the world.
You need clarity on your values so you can walk confidently in the world.
When you know your values, you know your path.
When you know your path, you don't need to defend it.
You just walk it.
And that walking - that choosing yourself, that honouring what matters, that letting joy be your attitude instead of your afterthought?
That's The Joy Rebellion.
That's how you build a life you love, feeling joy, happiness, and peace in your very soul and being.
Ready To Do This Work?
Between Christmas and New Year, while everyone else is making resolutions that'll be broken by February, I invite you to do the deeper work.
The work of knowing yourself.
The work of loving yourself.
The work of claiming your values and letting them guide you into 2026.
This is the work we do in my membership (currently called The Love Club (but rebranding in the New Year to ‘The Joy Rebellion’). This is the foundation of everything.
Because you can have it all - love your life, love your work, love who you are with, love who you are.
But it starts with knowing your values.
And it continues with walking your path.
Send me an email with "VALUES" to ali@alimortimer and I'll send you my complete "I Know Me, I Love Me" workbook to guide you through this process.
This is how we end 2025 and start 2026.
Not with more goals. With more clarity.
Not with more doing. With more being.
Not with more boundaries. With more freedom.
This is The Joy Rebellion.
If this resonated with you and you want to ‘be a rebel’ by choosing you and creating a life of joy—join me in The Love Club (which will be rebranded in the new year to ‘The Joy Rebellion’ - (which my current membership are LOVING!).
We have these kinds of conversations every week, and I'd love to support you.
Love & joy always,
Your joy coach - Ali xo 🌹
“Just a few short weeks ago I was stuck and everything felt hard
My finances, my emotions & my energy - nothing was flowing
I met Ali in the summer and have been following her Instagram since. Her joy looked beautiful and i realised it was what I wanted and needed in my life
Joining the Love Club/Joyful Rebellion has literally turned my life around
I am now overflowing with abundance, I wake up excited and I’m falling heavily in love with myself
My self worth, happiness and finances have sky rocketed and I now feel full of hope, big dreams and so very grateful for the life I have
Life really is better when you Joy is at the core of each decision you make and I’m so thrilled Ali showed me the way”
